Ech Omrim “Peanuts and Cracker Jack”?

Check out this article from ESPN regarding the new Israel Baseball League.

Pro baseball is coming to Israel and the games begin next June 22nd. The commissioner is Daniel Kurtzer, the former US ambassador to Israel and Dan Duquette, former GM of the Boston Red Sox, is the director of player development. If I’m in town, I’M THERE! Who’s coming with me?

What are they going to play in the seventh inning, Hava Nagila? The possibilities are endless.

Random Language Musings

I have a co-worker named Hilla (pronounced “Hee-LAH”) who I’ll be working pretty closely with this year. We’ve spend a lot of time together the last 2 weeks, including several hours making fun of each other’s language. This morning, she complained that her leg hurt to which I replied “I’m sorry.” “What you sorry for?” I guess the shuk was out of linking verbs that day. I explained to her that while I wasn’t apologizing, I was sorry that she was in pain. Apparently this doesn’t translate into Hebrew. A few hours later, we repeated this same conversation as she reminded me that “you didn’t do nothing!” When I brought it up with a colleague who also emigrated from a Western country, he said, “I know, they don’t get it. I once broke up with an Israeli girlfriend because of her not getting ‘I’m sorry’”. Funny. He also said that he hates the “yiyeh b’seder” attitude because it keeps people from solving problems....

This afternoon, I sat in on a seminar geared towards the volunteer placements where the kids will be working this year. A woman was brought in to talk to the contact persons at these organizations to help prepare them to deal with our kids and use them efficiently. In Hebrew she said, “Throw out some words describing how you might feel on the first day of a job.” After confirming the word with Hilla, I threw out “beel-BOOL”, or “confusion”. Apparently this sounded much like “peer-POOR” which is what she wrote on the butcher paper, even repeating it later on in the session. The moral of the story is that a large group of Israelis may have left wondering how many “seizures” I’ve experienced on the first day of work. Oh well...at least my co-workers got a good laugh out of it.

Oh yes, this came up last week. When saying that something wasn’t set in stone, Hilla said this is not “Torah m’ (from) Sinai”. The cliches don’t get much older than that.

And one more quick thing not related to language which I found funny: last week we had a meeting at our old office which is being moved to a new location. How many times have you seen a mover stop what he’s doing to respectfully raise his voice at your pregnant boss asking her what kind of drink she’d like him to buy for her? Well, I’ve seen it once. Even movers are Jewish mothers here.

No Worries!

I have to confess something to you. I never saw “The Lion King”.





Ok, I feel better. But I remember hearing about the song “Hakuna Matata”, the Disney version of “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”. Israel has its own version of “chill out” and it’s called “Yiyeh b’seder” (it will be ok). In sharing my concerns about finding a place to live over the last few weeks, I have heard roughly 8.3 bajillion times “yiyeh b’seder”. That phrase when delivered is the checkmate of conversations; it ends it. What else can you say? What comes immediately before it however is immaterial. People say it anytime, anywhere.

“I just lost my job.”
“Yiyeh b’seder.”

“I failed my biology test.”
“Yiyeh b’seder.”

“I have to have my genitals operated on.”
“Yiyeh b’seder.”

Are they even listening???

So far “yiyeh b’seder” hasn’t found me an apartment. I’ll keep you posted.

Postscript to Shira Betzibur. My friend Noga told me tonight that this was a trend five years ago and chnunim (nerds) do it now. True or not, at least I got some free veggie sticks out of it. Tonight I asked her if she wanted to guest-blog sometime and she said “nobody would read it!” I answered “of course they would, just write it in Hebrew!” She said “but what would your mother do?” Mom, you’ve made it. People are reading this for your comments.

THREE POSTS IN ONE DAY!!!

Ok, now I’m just being silly. This last one was unnecessary.

But seriously, I’m curious: who’s reading this blog? Has anyone added this to their list of “things to read when bored at work?” I would be very flattered to know I have something in common with ESPN.

What happens when everybody is a Jewish mother?

How do you have stereotypes about Jewish mothers in a country where everyone is Jewish? Something I learned from my friend Ossy this past year is that here, they’re called “Polish mothers” (eema Polania?), describing the “classic” Jewish mother who lived in Poland a couple of generations back.

I spent this morning with a mother, a real estate agent who I hoped might help me find an apartment. We talked on the phone and she agreed to meet me a few minutes from where I’m staying. I met her in her office to find that she had a broken foot. After a few minutes of talking, I realized I was more likely to find this woman interesting than any apartment (calm down, she was in her 50s). In this small country, it’s easy to strike up a conversation with anyone, much more than in other places. Over the next 30 or so minutes, we shmoozed in the car to and from the apartment about my move here and whatnot (it always comes up in the first 2 minutes of conversation, it’s not hard to figure out that I’m new). She asked me what I thought of the recent war and a few minutes later, I got her to say “F*&% the UN!” or something to that effect which sounded even funnier to me because most Israelis don’t say the “uh” sound. It was more like “fahk”.

We drove a few blocks in her car to the apartment, stopping on the way at some kind of GNC health place so she could pick up a few things. Because of her broken foot, she called the guy in the store to come outside to her car and bring her groceries. Later, she stopped at the pet food store where the woman there came outside as well. In my August 11th “Friday in Israel” post, I know I said I was going to get over this stuff but I’m sorry, when someone inserts “Freeskees” or “Meow Meex” into the middle of a sentence, that’s pure comedy. To find parking on this small one-lane road, she parked her car on the curb. If you didn’t understand that, you read it correctly. She actually drove her car ONTO the sidewalk as people sometimes do here. I told her how I always found that funny and she explained it by saying “We are Levant (a label for Middle Easterners). We are pree-ma-teev!” That cracked me up.

Oh yes-she also had Easy Park. I went nuts, telling her it was ingenious, “kmo m’Einshtein!” She said “from now ohn, I em calleeng dees Einshtein. Geev me deh Einshtein.”

I guess she wasn’t so much the Polish mother as I was, offering to help her at each of the stops because of her broken foot. Everybody is so helpful here, I felt the least I could do was to assist this poor woman. She invited me over for dinner tonight but I already have plans (I guess that makes her Polish).

Postscripts: I saw two apartments. They were fine although I have no idea what the market is. Minor detail. These stories probably make my life sound far more interesting than it is. If you told someone you went apartment-hunting with a real estate agent while running their errands, would you envy them? Pictures to come!!!

Shira Betzibur

As I wrote a couple of weeks back, the work week is different here. Off Fridays, on Sundays. So Thursday night is a big going-out night. Check that-every night is a big-going out night, although I have yet to see it for myself being so busy with work this month. Last night, I was invited to my first ever Shira Betzibur, one of the big trends to hit Israel in the last few years. It’s basically a big group of friends getting together to sing popular songs from the past accompanied by one or more musicians. See this article for an interesting explanation (thank you, Google search!)

Assaf, the guy I’m planning to live with (as soon as we find an apartment) invited me to join him. I had heard about this phenomenon in New York, as described in the article, but hadn’t attended before. He told me to walk to the corner of Bograshov and King George to be picked up by his friend Noa. (By the way, it’s interesting how the majority of the major streets in this country are named for historical figures. King George was apparently an English king during the British Mandate...thank you Google search! Since I’m still learning this city, I’m constantly forgetting names of streets. “Ok, I’m supposed to go to the immigration office on Ben-Gurion...or was it Ben-Yehudah? Yehuda Maccabi or Yehuda HaLevi? ARRRRGH!”) So I find Noa’s car and immediately meet her, Joyce in the front seat who moved here from Chile, and Shlomit, who proceeds to call her father and speak to him in English (he moved here from Cleveland, what other language would she speak to him in?) In social, pressure-free situations (as opposed to at the bank), it’s easy to get my point across in Hebrew. It’s pretty amazing when an American Jew can communicate with a Chilean Jew in Hebrew. Thank you, Ben-Yehudah!

I expressed this to the group, along with some of the other things that made this country great. Someone smiled and said, “Ahhhhh, just wait until a year from now when it wears off and you’re angry about the traffic and all the other annoying things.” Yeah yeah yeah, I know, let me enjoy it while it lasts.

We arrived to a moshav in the middle of nowhere (Israel is the roughly the size of a Walmart parking lot, how “in the middle of nowhere” could it be?) where one of the groups’ friends lives. He had a good sized patio with couches and mattresses on the ground and everyone had brought something to eat, vegetables, fruits, and wine. (Sliced vegetables, the chips and salsa of Israel.) I tried some fruit for the first time whose name I can’t even remember. I took one bite and put the rest on the table. In hindsight, I think they were playing a joke on me and fed me rubber. Assaf, who I don’t know so well yet, is an amazing pianist according to everyone who knows him. He played on his keyboard all night as the lyrics to the songs were projected on a wall. I knew fewer than five songs over several hours and by 12:30, was falling asleep on the couch (thank you, wine!) In order to wake myself up, I got up and walked inside. Some woman found me five minutes later and asked me why I was inside. About 2 minutes later, I discovered that she worked at Young Judaea camps in the States for 7 summers and we knew approximately 8.5 bajillion people in common. I guess I should never be surprised, but I’m always surprised. Going to Jewish summer camp, working for the Jewish community, and living in New York...the triple crown of Jewish geography. Now that I live in Israel, I figure that I should have met every Jew by the year 2013. For those of you who are shocked, you apparently haven’t done any of these four things. Anyone who has knows that this somehow happens all the time.

The night was a lot of fun, especially after 10 or so straight days of staff orientation. Things should really slow down in about 3 weeks and I’m looking forward to settling into a routine and meeting people. I’ve gotten a lot of emails asking “how are things going so far?” The best answer is “I’ll let you know in a few months.” Too early to have anything to report. Here comes another post...

Exciting News

My parents just booked tickets to visit in December. WHOO-HOOO!!! This will be their first visit in over 20 years. I’m excited.

So I’m still really busy with work as I will continue to be for the next month or so. My weekend was/has been spent in Jerusalem doing staff training for the upcoming year. Most of the other first-time employees of Year Course are the counselors who range in age from about 20 to 24 so I’m the granddaddy of the bunch, despite my more senior position. I’m working pretty much seven days a week these days although it will pass soon. I find out which counselors I’ll be working with today so it should be exciting to begin planning the upcoming year with them as we prepare for the arrival of the kids in 2 weeks.

Last night, a bunch of the staff went to an international arts festival in Breechat HaSultan (Sultan’s Pool), a big open park-type area below the Old City of Jerusalem. After being stuck indoors most of the week in meetings, it was nice to get out and be surrounded by people. Ok, time to upload some pictures for the first time in days...
People wandering around looking at the various booths of art.

Ooh, necklaces.

I ran into a co-worker of mine from Young Judaea in the States, Meara. The world is a small place when you’re Jewish.

Do you think they have fairs in Jordan with booths about Israel?


And finally, the reason we attended: the performance of Aviv Gefen, an Israeli rock star. Though I didn’t know any of the songs, I did know his name. Aviv Gefen has been famous in Israel for over 10 years, not only for his music but for his famous father (musical star and songwriter, Yonatan Gefen) and his left-wing political views and refusal to serve in the army, which is mandatory. It’s always interesting to go to concerts of rock stars even if you don’t know what the heck they’re singing. Apparently, the rest of the audience did because they joined along with him singing every word. There were too many teenage boys in the crowd for it to have resembled a Backstreet Boys concert but it was close. The Killers, maybe?

Speaking Hebrew

Much as I enjoy speaking Hebrew, having to speak another language all the time can be mentally grueling, especially late at night when you’re tired. I have a new appreciation for all my Israeli co-workers over the last few years who had to speak English all the time in the States. At some point during the day, I’ve usually had enough and can’t bear to strain my mental muscles anymore. Although I’m pleased that my vocabulary of slang continues to increase.

On a related note, I opened a bank account today. Here is a pretty close re-enactment of how it went:

Teller: “ujvlksfu90xcnwaeofj;suf8paejfsduekfmviditvmcdkeiweor9fkvcmbhnfueo
slx,fmviruydjckvuhfhueiewowpmcndjkslfogiepoqpwkxmvnghrufsdfsfaweovnvale
wfuhasdfeasdasdasdasdsdfsaujvlksfu90xcnwaeofj;suf8paejfsduekfmviditvmcdkei
weor9fkvcmbhnfueoslx,fmviruydjckvuhfhueiewowpmcndjkslfogiepoqpwkxmvngh
rufwae8usfdfujvlksfu90xcnwaeofj;suf8paejfsduekfmviditvmcdkeiweor9fkvcmbhn
fueoslx,fmviruydjckvuhfhueiewowpmcndjkslfogiepoqpwkxmvnghrufujvlksfu90xcn
waeofj;suf8paejfsduekfmviditvmcdkeiweor9fkvcmbhnfueoslx,fmviruydjckvuhfh
eiewowpmcndjkslfogiepoqpwkxmvnghrufujvlksfu90xcnwaeofj;suf8paejfsdsdfsdfs
uekfmviditvmcdkeiweor9fkvcmbhnfueoslx,fmviruydjckvuhfhueiewowpmcndjkslf
ogiepoqpkxmvnghrufujvlksfu90xcnwaeofj;suf8paejfsduekfmviditvmcdkeiweor9fk
vcmbhnfueoslx,fmviruydjckvuhfhueiewowpmcndjkslfogiepoqpwkxmvnghrufsdoew
ujfsdifwea9fsdkfjhg8ew;pidjf98e;dsgnwkxmvnghrufujvlksfu90xcnwaeofj;suf8paej
fsduekfmviditvmcdkeiweor9fkvcmbhnfueoslx,fmviruydjckvuhfhueiewowpmcndjks
lfogiepoqpwkxmvnghrufujvlksfu90xcnwaeofj;suf8paejfsduekfmviditvmcdkeiweo
9fkvcmbhnfueoslx,fmviruydjckvuhfhueiewowpmcndjkslsdfsdfsdfasdfasdfewgar"

Now please sign your name on these 20 lines.”

Me: “Um, ok.”

(With a lot more kh sounds, of course.) I guess I’ll have to wait for my first statement to find out what I signed away. From what I understand, the bank charges you for every transaction including ATM withdrawals. On the other hand, there aren’t individual ATMs for each bank which means you can take money from any machine without getting charged. So I can say goodbye to the days of walking out of my way in Midtown NYC just to stop by Citibank.

In other news, I listened to Galgalatz the other day, what is probably Israel’s most popular radio station, playing a mix of popular Hebrew and English tunes. It’s interesting to hear what songs have somehow remained in their playlist despite not having been heard on American radio for 15 years. I actually heard Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians twice this week. I also heard U2’s classic song “One”. Am I the last one to find out about the re-release with Mary J. Blige? The first time I heard it, I swore it was Leeann Rimes. I actually like it; you can watch the video here if you haven’t heard it yet.

Eat Your Heart Out, Bar Rafaeli

I started staff orientation today for work so things are getting busy. I also registered for health insurance so I can get sick now.

Short entry: this was forwarded to me today. I showed up on the website of Arutz Sheva several days ago. They are a right-wing religious media outlet which explains why none of my news junkie friends saw it and sent it to me. I don’t know if this showed up in a newspaper but there’s a good chance none of the readership knows me so I guess I’ll never know. Anyway, here it is.

Scroll down to see my picture.

Surprisingly, I haven’t been stopped on the street even once.

Real Life Begins

After being “on vacation” for a few days with no responsibility, real life began yesterday. I woke up ready to begin all my errands to register for health insurance, open a bank account, sign up for an Ulpan (Hebrew classes), etc. Anyone who has moved here has stories of the bureaucratic red-tape which range between an annoyance and a nightmare. Truthfully, it’s probably no worse here than anywhere but when it’s not YOUR government’s red-tape, it’s easier to blame. (I went to the New York DMV less than 2 weeks ago to renew my drivers license before it expired and lemme tell ya...it’s no picnic there.) Nevertheless, with these stories in mind, I began the morning optimistic and keeping in mind peoples’ advice to have a sense of humor. No less than 1.23 seconds after beginning, my sense of humor was tested. The first step is to go to the post office to have a form stamped which you then take to the kupat cholim (roughly translated as an HMO) of your choice to sign up for health insurance. When I got to the front of the line, I was told that first I had to go to the Bituach Leumi (National Insurance?) to get something else done first. “Are you sure?” “Yes.” Why did I feel like I was on Candid Immigrant Camera? When I arrived to the Bituach Leumi building to accomplish whatever it was I was supposed to be doing there, I was told that I was unable to... accomplish whatever it was I was supposed to be doing there...before I received my teudat zahut (national identity card) which I’m only getting today. I don’t think this is a result of red tape...someone from Nefesh B’Nefesh failed to tell us this. I have to believe there were a ton of olim (immigrants) running around yesterday trying to be productive only to find out that, surprise, they had another day of vacation. Oh well...it should all be finalized soon.

So I began working last night, meeting my new supervisor and co-worker, at the River Noodles Bar in Rishon L’Tzion, a suburb of Tel Aviv. We went over our job descriptions for Year Course and discussed the next couple of weeks. In moving from the NY office to the Israel side of things, it’s a complete switch from administration to education. Instead of promoting the product, I’m part of it, supervising the counselors, helping coordinate the educational goals, being responsible for the welfare of the kids, and of course, communicating with parents, in addition to other things. It should be very interesting. Staff orientation begins tomorrow and will continue for about the next week and a half so this blog’s honeymoon of daily entries appears over after a few days.

I haven’t figured out yet if these entries will have any kind of recurring theme or format, or will just be a way to keep my family and friends posted on what’s going on in my life. The most interesting things to write about thus far are about those moments when I say “Ahhhhhhhh!” after learning something interesting. Yesterday I was in a sunglasses store comparing different pairs of glasses. The woman working there said that some were more expensive than others because of their “hagana”, or as she translated, “defense”, which I took to mean UV protection. Only after leaving the store, I realized that this was the same word as the organization that defended Israel before 1948.

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

More later...

Who Needs Quarters?

Anyone who knows anything about Israel knows that the world community pays far too much attention to the conflict and not nearly enough to the technology being developed here. There’s been an email going around for years about how the first cell phone was developed here, Instant Messenger, the huge number of companies on the NASDAQ, etc. That email is outdated and is ready to be modernized.


HELLO, EASY PARK!


Easy Park, pronounced “Ee-zee pahrk” (another translation which amuses me), is a small meter you buy at the post office. You decide how much money to put on it, hang it on the inside of your window when parking in a metered space, and voila! No change and return trips during your errand required. I was floored when my friend Michal showed me hers the other day. So genius, so simple. How has this not arrived at the States yet?

And from the people who brought you Easy Park (ok, not really)...PAZOMAT!

Friday in Israel

I hope my life picks up soon before I become attached to my camera and laptop. The “this is going in the blog!” line continues to pick up steam. As long as my mom is enjoying it, I’ll probably keep writing. I saw a ton of people this morning at the picnic. For my old co-workers in NY, take a look at Emil and Michal.

Afterwards, a bunch of us went to the beach and sat at an outdoor cafe, eating shnitzel (basically fried boneless chicken, an Israeli staple), cheeps (fries), and watermelon. Although Israelis work on Sunday, Friday is sort of a weekend day for a lot of people. People like government workers and shop owners work Friday but most office workers have off. Because a lot of places are closed Saturday for Shabbat, Friday is the only or best time for people to get errands done. And it’s definitely a great time to go to the beach. No pictures this time. Not much interesting to say here but you’re still reading, aren’t you?

Ok, so this was funny to me. I went to the house of my friend Noga’s parents for Shabbat dinner. Their grandkids were there as well watching a few videos. Here are some of the ones Noga’s parents had.


Until I figure out how to insert captions, I’ll just have to write in paragraph form that you’re looking at Baby Einstein and Poo HaDov, otherwise known as Winnie the Pooh. And then there’s everybody’s favorite...

You’ll have to translate that yourself.

The highlight of the evening was when I heard “L’Dod Moshe haytah chavah, EE I EE I O!” These are things only Americans could find funny. I’ve always found words directly translated into Hebrew hilarious, probably in a slightly condescening way (along with Israelis speaking English with their “funny accents”.) What can we say, we Americans have always been less culturally exposed to other countries, probably because our country is absolutely mammoth which makes it hard to travel abroad. We all got a kick out of doing our best British accent as kids and they even made a sitcom out of this concept, a personal favorite in “Perfect Strangers”, a show where we got to laugh at the linguistic missteps of a silly foreigner. (If anyone can reproduce the episode where Balki sings “I’m So Excited” by the Pointer Sisters, I might pay a large sum of money.) The point is that I often laugh hysterically when I discover a word, song, or idea translated or brought to Israel which sounds funny. I suppose this will pass as I realize that there is a world outside of America (although the appearance of something on a menu pronounced “bah-falo weengs” will be funny until I die.) Since I haven’t gotten any other suggestions, maybe I’ll change the blog title to “Foreigners are funny.” (Before anyone responds, I know I’m the foreigner here.)

One more thing...in the elevator on the way out, a complete stranger entered and pulled gum out of her purse. After she took a piece for herself, she offered us each one. When we got out, I laughed and said “that would NEVER happen in the States!” The woman responded “Po, chamim; b’America, karim.” Or “In Israel, people are warm. In America, they are cold.” Am I allowed to laugh at that? Hey, nobody ever said Israelis were shy. I look forward to finding out what other acts of kindness I’m on the receiving end of.

So how did Old MacDonald get changed to Uncle Moshe? Now THAT is funny.

Shabbat shalom,
Benji

Boker Tov (Good Morning)

Well, I found a new way to procrastinate. “Oh! I need to write about this in my blog!” became the new joke after I said it about 457 times yesterday. After a year and a half, I’m really starting to appreciate this digital camera.

A few people have asked, “how long are you going to keep this daily writing thing up?” Good question-I guess I’ll have to see what happens when my life gets busy. In the meantime, can’t a guy put off unpacking for a few minutes? This will be a shorter entry. In half an hour, I’m leaving for an end-of-the-summer party to see our Israeli staff from this past summer which includes a lot of my colleagues that I work with during the year. In the New York office, we spend far too many hours holed up in our cubicles, despite our close proximity (a couple of hundred feet?) to Central Park. Here? Picnics on Friday. Not bad, huh?

Last night, I saw my friend Michal who worked for Young Judaea in LA for a couple of years. She picked up me and Ziv and we met her friends at the beach in Herzliya, a Tel Aviv suburb named for __________ (this isn’t just fun, it’s educational! Do your homework, kids!) We sat on the sand, eating and shmoozing while someone played guitar. It seemed like the quintessential Israeli activity to me. Unfortunately the pictures didn’t come out so well in the dark.

On the way there, we talked about, what else? The matzav, or the “situation”, the word that people used to describe the state of affairs during the most recent intifada. In Israel, as it’s always been told to me, you can’t avoid talking about politics because it’s everywhere, and at this stage, I’m eager to ask everyone what they think. Michal said that she’s constantly having moments where she (and everyone else) has to question what they thought were their rock-hard beliefs. Michal, an admitted lefty, recently decided that this war is different from the one with the Palestinians. Whatever their motives, at least there’s room for negotiation about issues such as borders and right of return (even if Israel won’t budge on the latter, it’s something to talk about). Whereas with Hezbollah, they HAVE no demands, unless you think “all Jews get our and die” is something worth discussing. So this war seems different from the past ones.

Something else came up: when looking at the title of this blog, Michal wondered if I realized that we were at war. I admitted the same thing to myself before she brought it up. Israel-supporters in the States and around the world are constantly fighting the idea that Israel is some big war-torn country where you’d be nuts to visit. Anyone who’s been knows that’s not the case, period. Life in Tel Aviv has not changed at all and you didn’t need to ask anyone on the beach if they felt like they were on the front lines. Even in the worst of times, it’s never nearly as bad as the news would make you think. Nobody is dodging bullets to get get their cup of coffee from Cafe Aroma in the morning. That said, Israel is at war, and needless to say, there are parts of Israel which aren’t safe by most standards of measurement and I have no rush to visit. I’ve been so busy trying to calm the fears of some people who have never been that Michal and I wondered yesterday if I had mentally gone too far the other way. I told her that although anyone who reads the news knows factually that Israel is at war, I don’t think I can understand what that means. In such a small country where everyone is like a big family (imagine playing Jewish geography in a place where EVERYBODY IS JEWISH), every Israeli knows somebody who has died at war or from a terrorist attack. I don’t. Every Israeli says life here is hard and there are both goods and bads. Although I’ve been here a lot of times and have a lot of Israeli friends, I haven’t suffered yet or felt the pain of an Israeli. I have a feeling that only when the matzav affects me personally will I have a full understanding of what it means to really be Israeli. Let’s just hope I’m not affected too closely. Please don’t everyone start responding to this part. I’m not asking to suffer, I’m just explaining what I think is true.

So I don’t know what I think about the title of this blog. In an effort to get it up and running in my few hours before leaving the States, I picked something quickly to answer everyone who thinks simply stepping foot in Israel is crazy (although I have to say I’m proud of my ability to insert a speech bubble and the picture on the beach drinking beers. That rocks.) Without having given it any thought, I’ll ask, anybody have any good suggestions for a name? That should really get the comments going. The over-under on number of friends who make fun of me is opening at 20.

Oh yes-and as many of my friends know, when I say “this email will be short”, it will usually be approximately 493 pages.”

Ok, I’m out the door, more later. (Why am I in such a rush? You’ll all be sleeping for at least another 5 hours or so.) Bye!

THE BIG DAY (and I’m not talking about football season)

Here I sit, in seat 45A. Hardly an empty seat on the flight, and somehow there’s one next to me. I was really hoping to post an entry from JFK Airport before boarding but I just didn’t have the time. Someone asked me this morning how I was feeling and remarked that she would have been freaking out. When you’ve been mentally preparing for a move for so many months, especially for one that’s presumably exciting and meaningful, at some point there’s nothing more you can do than to relax and enjoy it. Everything’s done-I just had to get in the cab and head to the airport. (Check back in with me in a few days when I’m having to buy furniture, grocery shop, and figure out how to translate “Doctor, my small intestine is inflamed.” I was shockingly calm at the airport. Perhaps because I’ve been to Israel so many times already? Because I was emotionally spent? Who knows...it hasn’t sunk in that I’m starting yet another chapter of my life but after moving to New York, how big of an adjustment can it be?

For those of you curious about what a Nefesh B’Nefesh (NBN) flight is like, it began when I walked up to their check-in table and the staff member greeting me knew my name. Damn, they’re GOOD. They passed out bags with some information enclosed, along with giveaways from Israeli cell phone companies and other various vendors, along with my plane ticket. After I checked in, there was a ceremony with speakers from NBN, the Jewish Agency for Israel www.jazo.org.il, the Israeli Consulate, and El Al. As local media and passengers took pictures, one of the speakers said “you’re moving from the sidelines of Jewish history to center stage.” (Isn’t that a mixed metaphor? He had me when he was started the sports talk but lost me halfway through...)

It turns out that there are FOUR graduates of Year Course on my flight, the program I attended before college and will be working for when I arrive. (If that doesn’t speak volumes about Year Course, I don’t know what does.) I’m sitting next to one of them, a 20 year-old named Scott who’s going to be joining the army a few months after his arrival. Fifteen minutes after I learned that he’s as big of a sports fan as me (minus about 10 years), he dropped this bomb on me: there’s something called Slingbox (?) which, when connected both a TV and computer, can download a television show to a website?!?! Can someone confirm this? If so, I’m taking volunteers to send me the Texas-Ohio State football game next month. Don’t even pretend like you weren’t going to watch.

Without going into details about what NBN does (check out the website for more info), one of the benefits they provide is an easy absorption process without a lot of the nightmarish bureaucratic stuff. More specifically, government officials on their chartered flights who process a lot of your paperwork for you there, saving hours of office visits (think your local DMV.) However, because of the current situation in Israel, there aren’t government officials available on the flight to process our paperwork. Scott and I were interested to see how this whole thing works but instead, a lot of it will just happen by mail.

If you’re wondering what the flight is like in terms of activity level and energy, it’s pretty much your typical El Al flight. A lot of religious people, their eight bajillion kids, and people walking all over the place passing the time. When the pilot addressed us over the intercom a few minutes ago, he said “shalom, olim” (hello, immigrants). That was pretty cool. A media person with a big video camera walked by a few minutes ago.

Fast forward a few hours...I arrived and was greeted by my co-workers and friends Yehoshua and Mike, who moved from NY and Scotland respectively one and seven years ago. Here they are...



Fast forward again and I just finished a delicious meal with my friend and temporary host, Ziv, not far from his apartment in Central Tel Aviv. Mmm...spicy meat.



That’s all for now...happy birthday to my mom. She’s 48!

One Day and Counting...

So I’m moving to Israel tomorrow. If I try to write a short explanation why, you’ll still be reading a 30 page dissertation. That said, IN SHORT, every time I return from a visit, it’s never long enough. I know about a jillion people who feel the same way and wish they had the opportunity or had taken the opportunity earlier in their life to spend some more time in Israel. I decided that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wishing I had spent some part of my life living in the land of chumus and Pesek Zman chocolate bars (”the milk and honey” description seems a little outdated.) I’ve made so many great Israeli friends over the years, I love spending time there, I probably enjoy speaking Hebrew more than anyone on the planet (at least making Israelis laugh by saying stupid things in Hebrew like “Yanti Parazi” (if you don’t know what that is, there’s your first homework assignment...the Israeli readership is shaking their collective heads right now), and what makes me feel Jewish is my connection to Israel. So what does everyone think of this move? Those who haven’t been to Israel not surprisingly think I’m nuts. My close and older friends who have been, and have been often, seem to be for the most part happy, envious, excited, or proud.

So what am I going to be doing? A few days after my arrival, I’ll begin working for Young Judaea Year Course, the 9 month program I did when I graduated high school. I’ll also be doing an Ulpan, the classes that new immigrants take to learn Hebrew. After that? We’ll see. I keep telling people that I’m making no assumptions about how long I’ll be there, no matter how many times I’m asked “is this forever?” Does our generation really think about anything being forever? Having lived in four cities over the last ten years, I certainly don’t.

While there’s a lot more to write, I want to hit “Publish” and get this thing up and running! I have to say, my new Mac really does make this very easy. I hope somebody enjoys reading this and I hope to keep tinkering with the possibilities as I continue learning to harness the power of Apple software.

To close this first entry, a big mazal tov to Joe and Jackie Kammerman who got married this past weekend in LA! Thank G-d I was able to make it after my move date to Israel was changed to three weeks later. The picture above is of me and Joe.