Last night, I boarded a bus from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. Well, to be accurate, I was forced on by a raging mob of impatient pushers and line-cutters. Why they had to push, I have no idea, since we were standing close to the front of the line and all those in my vicinity were assured seats on the bus. Ten minutes earlier, as I was closer to the back of the line, I watched the same phenomenon, as a different group of pushers practically ran over an elderly woman until the driver got out of his seat and screamed something to the effect of "WHAT IN THE *#&^ ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING???" This juvenile, inconsiderate, selfish, and potentially dangerous behavior is disgusting.
Hey, it's Lollapalooza!Oops, sorry-it's just the line for bus #405.
Popular question: "What can olim chadashim (new immigrants)bring to Israel in this day and age?" Here's my suggestion.
(Only pushy line-cutters could inspire back-to-back sarcastic captions.)
To the @$$holes who did their best to recreate the Smashing Pumpkins fatal mosh pit, I dedicate this song.
To the tune of "David Melech Yisrael"
"Hey! You!
Get the **** in line!
Get...your... @$$ in line!
Get your ****ing @$$ in line!
Get the **** in line!
Get your ****ing @$$ in line!
Get the **** in line!
Aaaaaaaaata!
(Manyak!)
Manyak!
(Ata!)
GET IN LINE!
(You're a ****!)
You're a ****!
Yes, you are!
When you sing it, I recommend dressing up as your favorite Biblical hero or Zionist thinker. (It's educational for the kids.)
This can be the beginning of a revolution, my loyal readers! As Theodore Herzl so eloquently stated, "If you will it, it is no dream." I dream of lines; do you dream, too?
7 comments:
One word for you: sherut.
Well, see, that's exactly the problem.
Israelis seem to think that 'service' (i.e. sherut) is some kind of taxi, rather than something you provide to a customer. . .
Psh! And you claim Israel is safe... Was CNN there? It's important for the world to see just how dangerous the region is due to the rampaging Jews. Seriously, you'd think the Israelis would learn from their peaceful neighbors how to properly form a line.
My friends and I joke all the time that no place are the old ladies meaner than the bus stations. I remember being elbowed in the face and pushed aside by old ladies in Be'er Sheva. I think it's the worst there.
Amanda -
Those of us who have spent any time in Beersheva know that you would do ANYTHING to get out of Beersheva . . .
As an Israeli comedian pointed out the differences with America. In America you step on someone's foot and say excuse me...here in Israel, "Excuse me you fool, what was you foot doing here!"
Haha I love that song.
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