So it’s been about 16 months since I made aliyah. As in any move, there have been ups and downs but overall, things have been great. And they better be great because any oleh chadash (new immigrant) can expect to answer questions like “so ehhh….why you deed aliyah?” about 400,000 times. When Joe Israeli would ask me this, I used to say something to the effect of
“Well, I came on a six-week trip when I was fifteen and just fell in love with this place. Whenever I would visit, something inside me felt alive and until I gave living here a shot, I knew there would always be a hole in my Jewish identity. In one word? Zionism.”
It’s right around that time that his eyes start to roll to the back of his head and he short-circuits. So now I stick to the second answer: “I lost a bet.” It’s more fun to confuse them.
The average Israeli when I explain why I decided to uproot myself
I’ve also learned that there’s a big difference in what Israelis say to you before you move to Israel…and AFTER. Before? Everything’s roses! “Why you not leev here? Eet’s greeeeat! Byoo-tee-fool beaches! Byoo-tee-fool WEE-men! (wink wink) Ayn makom acher! (There is no other place.)”
After?
“What ahr you, CRAY-ZEE??? I have cousin in New York, he eez meel-yon-air!!!” Hey, what happened to the first guy? “Oh, he move to New Jehr-zee…he work at mall, making lots of mah-nee.”
This place makes me laugh.
4 comments:
I used to respond to Israelis who asked me the same question with either a) I liked the food or b) I thought I would move to Israel to make some money and then return to the States after I had enough saved.
Love the blog!
Hey Benj-what is happening to you? You used to write longer blogs...but lately, it seems like you have reverted to a snippet here and there...or are you just too busy spending time at Hooters and at the photo shoots of Israeli models?....(I guess if I were a young guy, I'd do the same thing)....WE WANT MORE!!!!... (Take a drive through Zichron to Nahariyah and write about the young kids selling corn!) PS- Avi's there now--so give him a big hug and kiss from Ima!...Mama sue
I always say I made aliyah because of temporary insanity.
Which of course only begs the question why I am still here 13 years later . . .
My husband always answers that one for us -- "I came for the women--bigger b**bs." Then I add, "Me, too."
Shuts the conversation down in 2 seconds flat. And the looks are priceless.
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