So I started a new job yesterday, my loyal readers. I'm a content writer for an online marketing firm and that's all I'm gonna say for now.
Some of you in the place called chul might be asking yourself, "Self? How does an oleh chadash struggling with Hebrew manage to get by working in another country's office environment?"
Well, I'll tell you. You speak English. Whoever said that the international language is love was listening to too much Chicago. (Why was every one of their songs about getting dumped? For the love of G-d, I like "Greatest Hits 1982-1989" as much as the next '80s child but how depressing are those songs???) The official language of my company is English which means that emails, meetings, internal communications are conducted officially in English.
Israel's official language is Hebrew. Except for on t-shirts.If I didn't get the memo, I figured it out my first day. My boss sent me an email with some information. I hit reply and tried to write "תודה (thank you)." Only one problem: there's no Hebrew font installed on my computer.
Please tune in this Wednesday at 9 AM to see Eliezer Ben-Yehudah and Theodore Herzl engaged in a grave-rolling competition. Ech omrim "grave-rolling competition?"
"I forced my family against their will to say made-up words and in 100 years,they speak what??? Mrs. Ben-Yehudah's gonna kill me!!!"
13 comments:
You go to ulpan to learn proper grammar and poetic words (like אמש) so that Israelis will laugh at you, which will build up your thick skin to be able to handle places like THE MISRAD HAPANIM.
:-)
Haha. Luckily, a LOT of companies in Israel are officially in English - all hi tech companies are. Which was very nice considering in English I type around 100 WPM (not kidding) and in Hebrew 10WPH (that's Words Per Hour).
I was EXTREMELY lucky - my last two bosses have been American and British respectively - I think my Hebrew has gotten WORSE over the past 2 years!
I don't need thicker skin to handle the Misrad Hapnim, I need, umm, "mind-alterers." (Are there kids reading?)
"Logic? We don't need no stinking logic!"
-The Misrad HaPanim, The Iriyah, The Misrad HaBriut, The Army, The Misrad HaKlita, Olmert, The Drivers in the Street...
Cab drivers will govern Israel and the Shawarma guy will explain the mysteries of the universe.
Rarified air of Jerusalem works almost as well as "mind alterers".
;-)
Heh. I wonder if you're working for my old boss. Are you on Ehad Ha'Am by chance?
Nope, not on Ahad Ha'am. But you probably have the right idea.
Can you get me a job there?
Ha! Can I quote your Ben Yehudah? I have a paper to write on the language wars of Palestine.
Baila and Elie, I'll try and definitely.
Bahn,
Did you see that Bar and Leo are back together? I thought I'd here that first from you, and not from People Magazine. I'm very disappointed in you!
I did see that. This is what I think of Bar:
http://www.whatwarzone.com/2007/10/talentless-biotch-formerly-known-as-bar.html
I've already read that, that's why I thought you'd want the up-to-minute info on the happy couple--I knew how much you respected her.
Can I be a total smartass? (What? Stacey... a smartass? No frickin' way!)
Y'all really don't need the "the" before Misrad HApanim, Misrad HAbriut or Misrad HAklitah because the "HA" is the "the" in the smichut form of the word. :p (But I bet you already knew that.Just thought it was funny apropos the topic.)
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