Sderot is not Tel Aviv. Here you will not find pick-up bars or crowded pubs, and it is not easy to find a partner for a one-night stand. Usually, I have been told, relationships here develop slowly and surely, and only the crackling rocket alert loudspeaker serves to accelerate the process. Indeed, the Qassam rockets are an effective and active matchmaker.In order to support the economy of our barraged Negev town, it is with great excitement that the Benji Massachusetts Travel Agency announces its new vacation package to Sderot. This package is open to singles only and will begin with a "mifgash" component through which Tel Aviv residents will be paired up with singles of Sderot. The mifgash will take participants to a local winery to enjoy delicious Israeli wines. (In the absence of local wineries, participants will proceed directly to the hosts' residence to discuss current events, take part in social activism, and get drunk.) This is the "home hospitality" portion of the trip, designed to strengthen connections between the two cities, or whatever.
Who wants to be alone when rockets are landing around here? At times of distress, we all need an embrace, a shoulder to cry on, a warm chest, and a comforting and protective body: I don’t want to stay alone tonight, so stay with me - simple words that connect people and arouse hidden desires.
The bus will leave immediately after the completion of the hospitality component, no later than 4 AM, due to our very important meeting in the morning.
To any Israelis who have not yet been to Sderot, I highly encourage you to go and there's no better way than on an organized tour.
Benji Massachusetts Travel: Connecting People
12 comments:
I'm afraid of the dark. Is that enough to send a tour bus full of men to my house to comfort me ?
oh jeez, ilana. all it takes for us israeli horndogs is the knowledge that a woman just exists! if she's alive, we're in pursuit mode.
and by "we" i mean those really loud, obnoxious, for some reason typically hairy guys that yell a lot.
Danny,
This I know.
So let me be more specific: a tour bus full of caring, considerate men who don't mind cutting up the vegetables for salad, keep their trousers pulled up above their derriere crack, know how to make a proper campfire, aren't afraid of spiders, know how to fix plumbing and/or electric fixtures, understand that crumbs on the counter are BAD, open doors and bring flowers once in a while, can give a decent neck massage, and put up with a bit of moodiness once in a while without making a big deal about it.
If I go on too much I might sound unreasonable. So do you think there are even 50 men like that in Israel?
;-)
Oh, and I forgot the part about reading Dr. Suess out loud. Hebrew or English is ok.
:-)
Bahn,
Last few posts were very funny. But no time to comment on each one.
Ilana,
Good Luck.
I kept waiting for the buses of men from the midwest coming to comfort single NY women after 9/11. But they never came.
:(
"Motel Shesh"? I think you are still showing signs of being an oleh chadash. I think if you said "Malon Shesh," you would then be truly Israeli.
"Motel Shesh"? I think you are still showing signs of being an oleh chadash. I think if you said "Malon Shesh," you would then be truly Israeli.
By the way, did we clear up the confusion about "V-shmoneh"? I still think this should be left untranslated ("Vi Eht").
Thanks, Baila!
Ladies, ladies, Benji Massachusetts Travel has trips to all kinds of places. Anything for Israel. Now please send me your and your lady friends' phone numbers for our upcoming launch party. We're serving V-Shmoneh.
You better have an excellent screening process, otherwise, that Vee-Shmoneh had better be spiked because we are gonna have a lot of work to do separating the wheat from the chaff...
Not that I've ever been one to shy away from work...
Ilana,
Those men don't exist. Take 2 or three points, you've got a match, but the entire package? That's what movies are for!
I'll bring some flowers, clean the house, chop the veggies, protect the ladies from bad guys, recommend good books - but I can't even seem to put the freaking screen back on my window! Seriously, it's pissing me off. I got like 3 mosquito stings last night.
Is there a lady out there who knows how to put a screen back in a window?
Post a Comment