Hello, my loyal readers-how in the heck are you? I'm good. As expected, Yom Hazikaron and Yom Ha'atzmaut were simply amazing, moving, and inspiring. I can't seem to write about holidays in less than five billion words (see any past entry about a chag) so you can expect an update around the time Lag B'Omer rolls around. I have GREAT video from Kikar Rabin (and on the #18 bus interviewing some old lady)...anyboday want to come to my apartment and edit this stuff in iMovie?
So why am I too busy to write a recap? Because of my new job, that's why. And, boy, is it a challenge so far. Let me make this very clear: this is not a disgruntled employee about to complain about his job (if I did that in my blog, I'd be an idiot...especially because my department director is on the mailing list.) What this is is my sense of humor attempting to get me through this period. The people are amazing, I'm gonna love it, it's gonna be incredibly rewarding, but in the short term, in addition to some other factors, the language issue is proving to be a challenge. Which is kind of like saying "Siberia is proving to be chilly."
"Ech omrim 'it's two Kelvin'? It's cold as (falafel) balls."Stimulus:
Desk phone rings.
Response:
"Go to hell. I'm making snow angels on the Ayalon before I answer that."
Stimulus:
My inbox fills up.
Response:
Is it sent only to me? No? "Go to hell, I'm hitting delete, I don't care if it's Billy Bob Ben-Gurion telling me we're having Cosmos on Tuesday."
Stimulus:
Department meeting commences. Lasts two hours, all in Hebrew. "If there's something important, say it in the first hour before my brain shuts down." They could have announced that Steven Tyler was taking over lead vocals on the Kaveret reunion tour, I wouldn't have given a flying falafel.
How many Crembos could he fit in there? Three at least, right? One positive development was when my boss mercifully switched my Windows to English which of course then switched the way the dates were written. Just after I had actually gotten used to the European style. An Outlook reminder pops up for a meeting on 5/7, last Wednesday, and the first thing that pops in my head is "Huh??? Why is this reminding me about a meeting on July 5th???"
Good thing we Jews have senses of humor. I'm going to need it.
8 comments:
I feel for you, man. I went to the premiere of Fiddler on the Roof at the Cameri yesterday. It was amazing, in spite of the fact that 1) I knew all the words in English and 2) I'm not entirely positive that everything was in Hebrew. There were 2 parts I REALLY didn't understand - maybe my Hebrew's getting worse?
Do what I do. Buy a translation program (never cheap) and throw single words into morfix.com (both works wonders when someone is blocking your driveway for the 10th time and you want to tell them to place an extremity in their own body cavity.) Lo yoda'at ech omrim extremity or body cavity.
Plus, when you speak Hebrew, mumble the part of the sentence that you don't know the words for. People here actually don't have the chutzpah to ask what they didn't understand. Or maybe I speak Hebrew after 13 years and haven't realised it yet.
1. you know, you can set just the date/time/currency format on your machine to hebrew/euro standard and leave the rest in english. it's the only way to fly.
2. I would give my right leg to see a concert where Stephen Tyler fronted for Kaveret.
Aren't felafel balls hot? I mean, they are at least when they come out of the fryer. So, the expression, "cold as felafel balls" really doesn't make sense.
Well, I was trying to avoid writing "cold as balls". Don't want to alienate our many teenage readers.
Darla, ech omrim "Expletive deleted"?
Benji, you're a better man than me. I'm not sure I could ever do a professional job in the Holy Language.
Just know that you've got more falafel balls in the proverbial pita than me.
Dude! You're doing the freaking ARMY!!! If changing the big jug at the office water cooler means I have a lot of falafel balls, yeah, I guess I do.
Ok, this is too much falafel ball talk. I'm afraid we're going to freak out our 4 female readers.
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