Osem, Bissli, and Bamba: Time to Fire Your Marketing Staff

So last week, I brought up kugels and bagels and how maybe we Israelis should call our snotty people bissli and bamba. That led me to do a little online research about everybody's favorite Israeli snack food. Talk about learning something. Seriously, Osem marketers? You're expecting your target audience to believe this stuff???

Here's what Osem's site has to say about Bissli.

· A multi-sensory experience–Bissli stimulates your taste buds in every way with its crunchy texture and dominant flavor.
· Compelling–once you start eating Bissli, you can’t stop.
· Israeli–Bissli is as Israeli as it can be. It’s popular with everyone, straightforward and unpretentious.

Wait, we're talking about food, right?

Nothing says "unpretentious" like a salty snack.
Good lesson for all you high school kids reading at home.

Here's more...

· The Grill and Barbeque characters are closely identified with the brand. Grill has Bissli Grill-shaped hair, is laid-back, witty and sharp-tongued. · Barbeque who has curly, Bissli Barbeque-shaped hair is depressive and apprehensive. Barbeque is always anxious and Grill is cool and easygoing. Barbeque is always worried that he’ll run out of Bissli and Grill calms him down.

Could we get a snack food therapist in the room please??? WHAT IN THE *$%@ IS OSEM TALKING ABOUT??? Is anyone in the country even aware of these characters and their salty neuroses? I sense a little sexual tension here. I want their website to add this:

Grill feels spurned by Barbeque's past relationship with Crembo and lingering feelings. Barbeque wishes Grill would give him some space so he can figure out what he's looking for and if his one-time crush for Grill was that or perhaps something more.

And then there's Bamba. It reaches a new level of ridiculousness.

The cartoon image looks like a baby but talks in a manner that appeals to all ages. It represents the brand identity which is aimed at children but is also cute and eye-catching for adults. The Bamba Baby was warmly received and is much loved by young and old alike. According to Osem surveys, the Bamba Baby enjoys a level of popularity similar to that of Disney cartoon characters.

In a follow-up survey with Wayne and Garth, Osem also discovered that monkeys might fly out of my butt. When little kids in Tel Aviv start demanding that their parents take them to ride roller coasters at BambaWorld, I guess I might be willing to believe that last part.

I have no idea who this is.
BUT I JUST LOVE THAT DIAPER-WEARING, BABY!!!