"It's Raining, It's Pouring, The Old Man is...EHHHHHHHHHH......."

The big story here, aside from the Winograd Report, is the weather the last few days. While the snow was coming down in Jerusalem, the heavens opened up in Tel Aviv and brought down buckets of rain (follow links for pictures of the white stuff.)

It hasn't rained much this winter (does it ever, really?) but when it does, it comes down and this time, with winds as heavy as I've felt. Two days, two broken umbrellas. There is nothing more annoying than buying an umbrella and having it turn inside-out within 3 minutes. I swear, even Mother Theresa would drop F-bombs. (Ech omrim "F-bomb"?)

Where I come from, they're not supposed to look like this.

Yesterday, I didn't have patience for a 10 minute walk under those weather conditions so I hailed a cab to drive me to the train station. After the cab started moving, I asked the driver in Hebrew*, "Is it 'tacha-NAH rakevet (train station) or 'tacha-NAHT rakevet' ?" His look gave one of four answers:

A) Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............

B) I hate my job.

C) Who gives a *$*%&???

D) A and B

I guess somebody gives a *$*%& because every time it rains, it makes the news. Not just the rain but the updated water level of the Kinneret, as in "the water level in the Kinneret increased 4 centimeters today but is still 8 centimeters below the red line." I don't know much about it but basically, I think the red line is the "healthy water level".

And although I haven't seen documented proof, if I'm not mistaken, this is the only line that exists in the entire country. Unless you count this one...

HAPPY WINTER, EVERYBODY!

*It's "tachanat". If you know smichut, you might be Israeli.

Funniest Thing in the World

There's nothing funnier than hearing "Crank That (Souljah Boy)" come out of a cell phone interrupted by an Israeli woman saying "AH-lo!" Ringtones are ridiculous.

Israelis, if you don't understand this, I can only compare it to some redneck in rural Alabama having "Hinei Ani Ba" by Hadag Nachash on his phone and answering "YELL-o!"

Actually, it's 1000 times funnier than that.

And I don't even know what to say about this.

Is this the Yemenite step?

Remember This Name

After these egregious offenses, I have developed what I call "Post-Traumatic Name Syndrome" where I become terrified at the sight of a coffee barista-type with a microphone, just waiting to scream "BAHN-gee" to the delight of everyone nearby. When they lean over to say a name, I jump, kind of like these guys.

Guess what I saw this weekend for the first time?
No way could Israelis pronounce Diggler's name. "DEH-rek?"

Fortunately, to my surprise, they got it right last week at Aroma. When I saw the receipt, saw why: they had actually entered my name in English.
Hmm...that's interesting. That can't be easy, right? To switch languages and hunt and peck for the English letters? Thank you, Aroma.

In the meantime, I've figured out a way to get revenge on people who call me "BAHN-gee". I tell them my last name is "Massachusetts." The next Israeli to say that correctly will be the first.

Benji Massachusetts: Coming to an Arena Near You.

Ech Omrim "Walk Down Memory Lane"?

If you've been paying attention, you saw that I've been looking for an apartment. Well, I was looking, for all of three days. Thanks to Homeless, Israel's version of Craig's list, I found something almost immediately, doing it in Hebrew all by myself I might add! Exciting.

I'll be moving just a short walk away to Sderot Chen, close to Kikar Rabin (Rabin Square), where I'll be living with a 36 year-old female social worker. The move's on Friday so today's one of the big packing days.

For every minute of actual packing, there's of course two minutes of close examination, reflection, and throwing away. Under the departments of examination and reflection come a few pictures. Almost all my photo albums are still in the States at my parents' house but I somehow managed to unknowingly bring a few pics over here with me. The ones below are from almost exactly 15 years ago during my year abroad.

I always wanted to submit this to a photo contest. Somewhere in Tel Aviv.


Working in the fields on Kibbutz Ketura. Aleph, that's me pretending to be ignorantly pulling a pipe as if it were a weed. Guess you had to be there. And bet, no, those weren't my clothes. They belonged to the kibbutz. I'll never forget all of us getting to choose work clothes, trying on horribly ugly outfits as if it were some kind of fashion show from hell. My favorite was a form-fitting sleevless leopard shirt. If there are pictures of this, I hope they've been destroyed.

Teaching Israeli Arab high school students in Tarshicha, the sister city of Ma'alot, up in the Galil. This picture was staged for PR purposes. I don't remember any actual one-on-one tutoring. Instead we mostly stood at the front of the class and led interactive discussions in English on such important topics as professional wrestling (very popular in Israel) and the lyrics to Michael Jackson songs.

Ok, back to packing.

Why am I Not Surprised?

As a follow-up to funniest book in the history of the world, here's a funny story which reminded me of this frustrating experience. I was at the train station the other day waiting to board a bus to Jerusalem (that's not a mistake (the "bus at the train station" part, not the part about wanting to go to Jerusalem (although some people in Tel Aviv would disagree (no, I'm not getting paid by the parentheses office)))).

So as my friends here know, nothing stresses me out more than waiting to be served: at a government office, a restaurant counter, WHATEVER. The fact that there are NO LINES to clarify who the heck is next combined with my PARANOIA that people around me are going to cut in front of me is unbearable. This stress, however, is relieved when you just miss boarding an inter-city bus with the knowledge that you'll be one of the first to board the next one.

I find myself in this very situation on Monday, surrounded by a group of others including some non-descript woman standing nearby. As the bus comes, the crowd slowly boards one-by-one. As we inch our way to the front, I notice this woman turning her head repeatedly towards me to look at me.

Not really thinking anything of it, I continue inching my way towards the door to the bus until she and I arrive at the narrow entrance at the same time. She says in Hebrew "I think you were before me." Knowing I was getting on either way, I said with a sense of calmness, "That's ok, go ahead, but that's VERY, VERY nice of you. That doesn't happen very often in Israel."
She responds, "I'm not Israeli."

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know if you had to be there or not, but that was funny.

What is this, a rally?
No, it's a single-file line at the post office.

More fun in Israeli lines

Inaugural What War Zone Caption Contest

I feel like this is notable so I'm posting it. Blogger now supports Hebrew and Arabic!




What do you have to say about that, my loyal readers? Best caption wins a prize.

Who Wants to Spank a Tree?

I feel like the story of Tu B'shvat was started as some kind of a practical joke and then continued over the years (why does this sound familiar?...Tom Cruise (cough)). The birthday...of the trees? Are we supposed to sing to them?

When I got to work today, I was greeted by a nice spread of all kinds of fruits and nuts. That's pretty amazing...don't remember it happening in the States. I seriously couldn't identify a lot of them. There was a long orange thing that wasn't a carrot...papaya apparently. Who can recognize a fig? I couldn't. Hard to make out all of them but there they are, on my plate. Chag sameach, everyone.
What happens when the tree turns 21? Do you pour a bottle of beer on it?

An Israeli's Response to the Funniest Book in the History of the World

Here's one that's been sitting in my proverbial hopper for months, just waiting to be written (ech omrim "proverbial hopper"?) It's a long one...get ready.

On my last trip to the States, I came across this in the airport bookstore: "Excuse Me, But I Was Next: How to Handle the Top 100 Manners Dilemmas" by Peggy Post.

Over the next 45 minutes, I proceeded to be be drawn into one of the funniest books in the history of the world. Here's Amazon's description:

Have you ever been annoyed by cell phone yakkers, line–cutters, movie chatters, or noxious neighbors. . .

Yes, I have. And if you don't know where this is going, seriously, you're at the wrong website.

been confused about who pays at a restaurant...spotted someone double dipping...gotten a gift you hated? America's etiquette expert Peggy Post comes to the rescue in this concise, readable book devoted to the top 100 etiquette issues everyone wonders about....Peggy addresses them as only she can––in her direct, fresh, unpretentious style. You'll learn how to politely say"no" to difficult requests, how to introduce someone if you've forgotten their name, damage control for email bloopers, what to do if people don't reply to your RSVP, how to actually get your kids to write thank–you notes, and much more. Peggy Post captures the essence of etiquette for today's world, distilled into the perfect gift book.

Ok, let's get right to it, shall we? Israelis right now are already laughing.

Chapter 2: Top 10 Nosy Questions and Quick Retorts
Q: "How much money do you make?"
A: "Not enough to buy the house that’s going up down the road!" Israelis, you can now make fun of Americans for being fake and passive-aggressive. How about "none of your business, assface. Any more questions?" Or "I'd rather not answer that question." Call me crazy.

Q: How much did you pay for that suit?
A: "Why, does it look expensive?" So clever! How did she DO that???

Q: “Have you had work done...like a facelift?"
A: "Hey, do I look younger? It must be all that clean living!”

What kind of person would ask that last question? And has Peggy written her follow-up book "Stupid Questions and the Morons Who Ask Them"?

If she were an Israeli woman her age, she's be naturally beautiful.
Of course, she'd also have bright red hair and dress like a 17 year-old.

Chapter 6: Cutting Ties with Your Hairdresser
"Breaking up with a hairdresser is like ending any relationship…the key is to be honest and polite." I guess so...if you're ****ing your hairdresser.

Ch. 12:"Excuse me, but I was next"
Ok, here we go....

Q: I was in a long line at store and waiting quite a while. A new line opened and the woman who just joined the end rushed to be the first one. The cashier started ringing her up. What should I have done?
A: Immediately say, "Excuse me, but I believe I was ahead of you." If he doesn’t retreat, don’t push, go speak to the manager.

We call this person a "freier". Can you say "freier", boys and girls? Talk to a manager??? Can you even imagine trying that here? "Nu, mah ani a’aseh??? Kacha zeh b’Yisrael!!!"

Peggy continues: "If you don't want to confront them, the antidote to rudeness is to kill 'em with kindness. " Ok, let me think about that for a second....HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Whew, that was great! (laughing, wiping away tears) Kill 'em with kindness? How about with a machine gun? "At very least, it may shame them into acting more civilized." Freier.

You could also sing this fun song...

Why do people look upset here? This isn’t normal in America?
Do you know what we call it here? Tuesday.

Ch 22: Limits of Generosity
Q: When a co-worker miscarries, never say "it was for the best" or "it was God's will."

Gee, do you think so? Hey everybody! Be sure to buy next book from Peggy Post: "Excuse Me, But I Think You Just Ran Over My Dog", giving such useful tips as "Things Not to Say When Your Loved One Gains 700 Pounds"

Ch 28: Internet Dating Etiquette
"Post only an up-to-date photo." Listening, Jdaters? "Arrange a first meeting in a public place and limit the duration." If you don't know that, there's a reason you're single. Hmm...I've never met this guy....he won't divulge his job...he doesn't have pictures posted...I know! WEEKEND GETAWAY IN THE CAYMANS!

Ch 43: Dressing Downer
Q: When together with friends, my 15 year-old insists on wearing grungy jeans and a t-shirt. I tried to get him to dress nicer but he says that’s his style and to leave him alone.
Benji's A: Have you considered attending a wedding in Petach Tikva?

Ch 50: How to Eat a Cherry Tomato
I am not even kidding. LADY, IRAN IS DEVELOPING A NUCLEAR BOMB TO BLOW US ALL UP!!! FORGET THE CHERRY TOMATOES!!!

Ch 59: Flying the Unfriendly Skies
Q: I’m fed up with parents who let their children act up on airplanes. During the last few flights, I've been kicked, poked, and tormented with nonstop whining and tantrums. How do I make it stop?
Benji's A: Switch to Israir


And more....

Q: My wife’s company is holding a holiday party. I’m world’s worst communicator…advice?
A: "Be well versed on current events."

You know, like this lady.

"Steer clear of controversial topics."
So it wouldn't be wise to say "So I'm thinking about moving to Hebron...thoughts?"

Q: At a party, I started talking politics and the discussion got heated. The host seemed uncomfortable. I enjoy a good debate and think our argument was civil but my wife insists it was rude. Who’s right?
A: Discussion of an interesting topic can be a great party activity, provided no one curses or resorts to full-scale argument. Most subjects (the market, sports, politics) are fair game as long as the expresser rationally listens with an open mind and refrains from insisting too vehemently on his views. Unless the conversation amounted to all out verbal combat, it is not rude.
Benji's A: Were people screaming at each other and yelling "mah karah lecha???" If so, this is called talking. You are too sensitive.

PTA Pressures
Q: A parent from the PTA keeps calling me to help me with school projects but I’m overwhelmed with a job and kids. What should I do?

FOR THE LOVE OF G-D, SAY NO! Or say you have miluim (army reserves) for the next 6 months. That's the Israeli version of "ooooh, I wish I could but I have to wash my hair."

Telephone troubles
Q: As the pace of modern life speeds up, rudeness seems to escalate. Here are some of the most offensive and rude behaviors.
1) Cell yell: Broadcasting cell conversation in public as if the person were hard of hearing.

Dude, people are smoking IN THE MALL here. Do you think they give a rat's ass about whispering?
Example: I was in the bathroom at a restaurant and the woman next to me was on her cell phone! I was forced to listen while others waited. Is there anything I could have done?

Yes, politely ask her to use movie theater.

That'll teach him to talk on his cell phone.

2) Driving recklessly: Zipping from lane to lane and generally driving like maniac

Did that say manyak?

Q: I was 5 minutes late for interview. I didn’t get job even though I was qualified. Was lateness the reason.
Benji's A: 5 minutes??? YOU’RE HIRED!

Q: I am female and my male client likes to greet me with a kiss. It doesn’t bother me but my boss thinks it’s odd. Should I ask him to stop? I don’t want to offend him and possibly jeopardize our business relationship.
Benji's A: Has he considered running for Knesset?

Peggy Post is today’s recognized leading authority on etiquette. She was also rejected by Nefesh B'Nefesh and will never live in Israel.

Business in the Middle East (I Just Made Myself Laugh)

Businesses today face many challenges to keep up in the ever-changing world. Customers have many choices of whom to align themselves with. There's simply no time to fall behind.

That's where we at Deloitte & Touche Gaza Strip can help.


We know what it takes to build nimble, powerful alliances between warring terrorist factions. We can take your bomb factory and bring them into the 21st century (and to heaven.) We recognize the frustrations of a corrupt leadership and and will help you leverage your lawlessness with synergy in this Web 2.0 world.

Whether you want to re-engineer your bombs, create performance-based initiatives (and Kassams), or adapt enterprise-wide incitement, at the end of the day, we have the answers.

Deloitte & Touche Gaza Strip: The Power of Collaborative Innovation. And Bombs.

(Are they going to make me take this down? C'mon, D&T, it's funny. And the Google Alert is going off in 3...2...1...)

THIS IS WAR, YOU BASTARDS

Only one week ago, I wrote about the tendency for people to mispronounce my name here. Apparently "the gods" did not look favorably on this post and have decided to wage all-out war on me.

I got my first tlush maskoret (salary statement) last week from work. Here's part of it.


Don't see anything fishy? Let's take a closer look at the employee's name, shall we?Are you freaking kidding me? Forget the fact they spelled my last name wrong. Americans, I'll help you out. In case you can't tell the difference between בנג'י and בנגיי, one is a nickname for Benjamin and the other targets deep, penetrating heat right at the source of your pain so you can get the relief you need.

This analgesic heat rub is sold by Johnson & Johnson and currently
holds down a job in Herzliya Pituach.

This is the biggest professional slap since this incident described to my friends 8 years ago.

Date: Fri, 17 Dec 1999 10:33:39
From: "Benjamin Lovitt"
Subject: Reason number 832 why I hate my job: the X-Mas bonus
To:

Dear Bosses,
Very funny, you bastards. Like I really need a $35 gift certificate to the Honey Baked Ham store for X-Mas. That's going to do my Jewish ass a lot of good.

When we do the gift swap at the company party and you get a box of matza from me, you'll know why.

Benji

I guess it could be worse. I could be this guy.

Michael Steinhardt Can Not Be Happy About This

Hot off the presses. Just a couple of hours ago, I visited a friend of mine at Tel Aviv's Independence Hall who is staffing a birthright israel trip. That's Independence Hall, the building where Prime Minister David Ben-Gurion addressed the nation and signed the Declaration of Independence on May 14, 1948. If you visit this site today, you can hear the inspirational speech he gave that very day.

Mmm...gives me chills just hearing it. I could have almost used a scarf. Or the next best thing, like A FREAKING KEFFIYAH AS THIS TRIP PARTICIPANT CHOSE TO WEAR.

Nice fashion choice, lady. Because nothing says Zionism like Arafat's headscarf. At least I can "boast" that she was NOT on an American delegation.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go read "Exodus" once or thrice.

"Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus...However He Eats Traif on Shabbas"

A few days ago, I received an email from my 12 year-old Lubavitch cousin Mushki who lives in
Crown Heights, Brooklyn. To my memory, I hadn't met her before moving to New York City four years ago. I saw her a handful of times in my three years in Manhattan and this email was the first contact we've had since I left. (If you hadn't heard, kids are into this thing called the Internets.) Follow our back-and-forth for a minute. Pink, her words; blue, mine. Just like the pegs in Life.

Nope, no stereotypical gender roles in this game.
"Move forward three, clean the dishes."

Here's what she writes:

hi benjamin!!!!! mommy told me that you want pictures of us so this is it!!! some are from monrdechai's wedding and some are of baruch rafael. all of the ones of toby and i are saved on a different comouter!!!!

This just in: one dollar of tzedakah went to a pushke in 770 for every exclamation point used in that email. (I think I grew payes just writing that sentence.)

Hi Mushki! How are you? I'm great. Thanks for writing and for sending these nice pictures. So how old are you now? Israel is great-the winter is very easy here, not like in New York. Chanukah was nice-they sell sufganiot everywhere here.

Pretty straight-forward. Here's where it gets interesting.

I will!!!!!! im 12 still (i turned bat mitzvah in february (i was born in a leap year so techically im still 4)) im going to try to het pictures of me onto this computer so i can send them to you. wanna send me a ticket to israel???? i want to go so badly!!!! if i get to go then i'll visit you!!! i put in several tickets to win a raffle!!! new york is so cold its scary!!!!!!!! i freeze to death with 24 blankets!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont like sufganiot anyway but they sold it alot of places here. shabbos in israel is really nice isnt it?? you can walk in the streets and there are no cars b/c its shabbos and not alot of people drive. thats so peaceful!!! so lucky!!!!!!!!!!! i miss you!!! everyone sends regards!!!!

There are no cars in Tel Aviv. And I have a bridge in Khan Yunis for sale.

Where IS everybody? Ah, yes-they must be davening Mincha.

Ha ha-I wish I could send you a ticket to Israel. If I could afford that, I would fly home to see my family! Shabbos is nice here but people celebrate it differently everywhere (like in America.) In Jerusalem, everything shuts down. In Tel Aviv, most things shut down except for restaurants so people go there a lot to relax and socialize with friends. You'll have to come see it someday!

Nice little plug at the end. Jewish Agency, you owe me dinner. Ok, so check out the response.

but i thought tel aviv was completely jewish!! how could it be that the restaurants are open??? is it that they are open but dont give food, its just for people to relax????

Good job, self. So now what do I do? I feel like I have to tell my imaginary goyisha child that Santa Claus doesn't exist.

What would you write, my loyal readers? In my last email, I accidentally left the address to this site in the message. I wonder if she's reading this right now. If she discovers something here causing her to leave the Orthodox world, I'm going to be in big trouble.

Update: Here is my response.

Mushki,
The answer is that Israel is as Jewishly diverse as America. You have Jews who are Jewish through their religious practice, Jews who are Jewish through their traditions and connection to culture and community, and Jews who are completely secular and don't feel the need to incorporate Judaism in their lives daily because they feel Jewish just by LIVING in Israel.

When everyone is Jewish, people don't have to try as hard because they're surrounded by Judaism. That may not make sense-you have to see it to get it.

Jerusalem is a very religious city; Tel Aviv is less so, just like the communities in Brooklyn are more Jewishly observant than in Manhattan.

I look forward to you visiting!

SAY IT! SAY IT!

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

-Some old dude

B-Shakes knew what he was talking about. The rose may smell as sweet but they're not calling it the same thing all around the world. Whether you call me Joe Montana or Flowers McGee, it doesn't change the fact that I can't throw a football. That said, would it kill people in this country to call me by my actual name?

"To be...or not to be?
That is the.....ehhhhhhhhh.........NU!"

For the sake of this example, let's say we're all Americans. Ok, now everybody eat a Big Mac and act fake. Ha ha. (C'mon, I make fun of the Israelis all the time, it's all in good fun. OR IS IT??? High-five, Israelis!) You've just met a nice Israeli who's moved to the States; in fact, you're a teacher and he's one of your students. You see his name written on the roll sheet but there's a vowel missing. The name reads "Mrdechai."

When calling his name, do you say...?
A) Mardechai
B) Murdechai
C) Mordechai
D) This is America! You'll go by Morty and like it!

(My senior year, we had an Israeli kid named Yuval enroll in the school. He joined my gym class where the other boys proceeded to call him "Yuvie." How endearing. As far as these people were concerned, he was what sunglasses were supposed to protect them from.)

If you said C, you guessed correctly. If you said D, you are very multi-cultured.

So why is it so hard for people here to pronounce "Benji"? BEN-gee!!!

SAY IT! SAY IT, DAMMIT!!!

New Years Eve, I'm at Karnaf, this wrap place with my friends Ziv and Amalia. We place our orders and wait for them to call our names over the mic. "Zeev!" Check. "Amalia!" Check. "Bahn-gee!" My friends laughed hysterically and the truth is, I did too. How could I not? Aside from the fact that over the microphone, most of the Middle East probably heard it, it's ridiculous that when Israelis say my name, they apparently think I'm named for this.

Really? בנג'י is so foreign? It's not obvious that it's connected to "Benjamin" or בנימין? I never had a name that I had to explain in the States, like my co-worker "Brannon" who introduced herself as "Dannon" with a "Br-". I guess I'd better get used to it.

Either that or start going by "Dudu." Of course that raises a whole nother series of issues.

You Can Take Me Out of Their Office, But You Can't...

From the makers of Year Course, Israel Summer Programs, and Extra Strength Robitussin, Young Judaea Israel Programs and Hadassah bring you...

Pride in Israel, a 10 day summer trip for 20s and 30s to experience Israel from a gay perspective.

This is something I know they have been discussing for some time now and I imagine it's one of the first trips like this of its kind. The big thing these days is variety in programming in order to reach new audiences who wouldn't otherwise come to Israel. Just take a look at MASA's website to see what's out there.

While it does hit many of the classic destinations, the itinerary also looks pretty interesting and unique. It also made me laugh a few times. I don't remember my summer trip itinerary listing: "Dead Sea spa: Ahhhhhhhhh………." On June 21st, participants will enjoy "Everybody Dance Now: Dance Performance at the Dalal Centre". If C+C Music Factory are performing, I may have to switch to the other team for one night only.

Freedom Williams and Theodore Herzl...only in Israel

Right now...somewhere out there...somebody is saying: "Mah zeh Robitussin???"

What, You Were Expecting Paul Shaffer?

Another reminder to RSS readers...be sure to make this change.

I got the call yesterday. They're renovating the building and it's time to move on. You know what means, my loyal readers...some lucky Tel Avivi could get to live with me! Who knows of a vacancy?

With apologies to David Letterman, from our home office in Bat Yam, here are tonight's top 10 reasons to live with Benji Lovitt:

10) I know how to clean the floor like a local

9) I know how to NOT clean a sink (someone still brings this up every month)

8) I can whip up a delicious breakfast that won't lead to cardiac arrest

7) I've learned that everything's gonna be ok

"They're heeeeeeere!" YIYEH B'SEDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(This one never gets old to me. If I made a shirt with a picture of Olmert or a map of the Middle East with "Yiyeh B'seder" written below, would anybody buy it?)

6) I've mellowed out over the years

5) I can teach Israelis a few things about the New York stock exchange

4) While I may not be able to build furniture, my gever gever friends can

3) I'm over my blepheritis

2) I'll make you laugh

And the number one reason that you're all going to forward me any apartment opening you hear about or take me in...

1) If I don't find an apartment in 44 days, I'm making yerida to here


Somewhere in Jerusalem, an alarm bell just went off. LET'S GO, Nefesh B'Nefesh! HOOK A BROTHA UP!!!

44 days...the clock is ticking...JEWS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!!!!

New Years in the War Zone

Well, my loyal readers, another year has come and gone. Here in the War Zone, we thank our lucky stars that we have made it another year. Here is a picture from a bomb shelter as the clock struck 12 on 2007.
The two women are enemy combatants holding me hostage. DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THEIR SMILES!!!!

Happy New Year to all!