- long hours
- crazy long hours behind the wheel
- unexpectedly crashing in Bedouin tents with no change of clothes or toiletries (Ech omrim "toiletries"? What an odd word. It includes things you put in your mouth but has the word "toilet" in it. I'll never be able to brush my teeth without thinking about it.)
- blog entries started after midnight (you see how much I care about you people?)
I think this chick screwed up my TV.They should remake this movie Israeli-style just to
hear someone say "Haunted house? Yiyeh b'seeeeeedeeeeeer!"
Instead of taking Kvish 6 (road #6), the high-speed toll road, down south, we had to drive from the natbag to Jerusalem, over to the Dead Sea, south to Bamba-f*** (I can't believe I never thought of this word before), west to Arad, and then to Kfar Hanokdim. That drive normally takes at least two and a half hours. Do you know how long it takes after getting a flat tire? Funny you should ask. It takes just under four hours including a stop for gas, 25 minutes for the tire-changing, and an hour of normal driving done at a much slower pace on a donut/spare tire. (Do they call it a "sufgania"? I really need an answer to this.) And I can't tell you how upset I am to have not gotten a picture of us wearing the yellow vest that you're supposed to wear when pulling over here. When things slow down, I have GOT to fix my camera. Feel free to nag please. It's for all of our benefits.
By the time I finally dropped the kid off, it was too late to turn around and drive back to Jerusalem on a sufgania, with it being dark as hell. Now....have you people been to a Bedouin tent? I remember going at the age of 15 or so. It was just that...a tent. I don't remember any bathrooms or showers, much less fancy-shmancy staff cabins. DUDE...this place was ridonkulous! There were at least 14 buses there, tons of mammoth tents to accommodate them all, some bar-type thing, cabins, bathrooms, and who knows what else. That was a real authentic Bedouin experience, much in the same way that visiting Kentucky Fried Chicken would be a real Hezbollian experience. The educational value in that place is non-existent but the groups love it so whaddya gonna do?
By the time I finally dropped the kid off, it was too late to turn around and drive back to Jerusalem on a sufgania, with it being dark as hell. Now....have you people been to a Bedouin tent? I remember going at the age of 15 or so. It was just that...a tent. I don't remember any bathrooms or showers, much less fancy-shmancy staff cabins. DUDE...this place was ridonkulous! There were at least 14 buses there, tons of mammoth tents to accommodate them all, some bar-type thing, cabins, bathrooms, and who knows what else. That was a real authentic Bedouin experience, much in the same way that visiting Kentucky Fried Chicken would be a real Hezbollian experience. The educational value in that place is non-existent but the groups love it so whaddya gonna do?
Separated at birth?
"It's finger-lickin ALLAH AKBAR!"
"It's finger-lickin ALLAH AKBAR!"
By the way, the highlight of the evening was undoubtedly when the tour guide called me on my way down. "Ehhhhh, Benji. Waht eez smores?" That ruled.
Anyway, by the time I woke up the next morning, wearing the same clothes and not having brushed my teeth, let's just say I was ready to drive home. And drive home I did, at the maximum speed of 80 km/hour (about 50 mph, I think.) Hey, kids! Wanna cause mass chaos on the roads? Get onto a highway and drive reaaaaaally slow with a sufgania on your front wheel. Even better, a one-lane road. I must have been passed by 100 cars who were none too pleased with me. And that is definitely not unique to Israel; in the States, people would have been going nuts too. You just know they're sitting behind you cursing "what the *#(@$ is wrong with this guy????" I can't believe there wasn't an accident with all the mass lane-changing going on.
Yeah, so there was no way in hell I was going to return home using the Dead Sea road. Hamas could have dropped Kassams, fire-breathing falafel balls, or Ariel Sharon's gut on my head and I would have still taken kvish 6 back north. Which I did. And of course it was fine (aside from the amount of time it took me to back and getting stuck in rush hour traffic). I did however stop and get a cafe hafuch on the way which brings me to something which should definitely make 2009's "61 more things I love about Israel" list: the fact that you can stop at any gas station in the country and get a cappuccino. Soooooo Israeli.
More stuff you can be doing right now (don't say I'm not offering suggestions):
- Give to injured soldiers through Masseh Nissim (thanks, Shara)
- Go the shuk at the Tel Aviv namal next Sunday and Monday
- Buy fish from these guys who live in the south (not Alabama)....ok, this link isn't working and it's not letting me paste all the text in...working on it
So are you doing anything?
22 comments:
What's the scoop on Masseh Nissim? Are they legit? Do they do good work?
Something I did last Shabbat (and I know they are doing it this Shabbat too) is go to a hill just past (like a few feet past) the checkpoint near Malcha in Jerusalem. We, Israeli Jews, Israeli Arabs, Palestinians, and internationals, planted trees and talked openly and honestly about everything that is going on. You can read more about the group that gathers here at http://www.allnationscafe.org/. It was really a unique and beautiful opportunity to do something positive and with love in an environment that is so wrought with anger and fear.
wow.. great one here, buddy-boy. i can totally imagine you pulled over with the yellow vest and having to crash in the bedouin hyatt. then raging it up 6 to the cafe hafuch.. man, i wish i just happened to be having a latte at said cafe - at the least for the look on your face.
nice adventures, kemosabe.
I don't believe you never actually thought "Hey, maybe I'll get another flat tyre, maybe I'd better stop at a punchermacher on the way"
Bamba-f*** went way over my head, please elaborate.
Nowadays Beduin mega-tents come with Kashrut supervision, right?
Route 6 was paved in part over the avocado plantation of my kibbutz and more important has done nothing to ease traffic in Tel Aviv. Mass transit would have been a better investment.
Apparently my friend Marc has worked with them....we'll see if he chimes in.
Punchermacher? Someone told me yesterday "pancheria" or something like that.
Bumblef*** means "middle of nowhere". Tizel nabi, as you say.
I guess they must be kosher, otherwise, I don't think groups could take them there.
I don't know about mass transit. Look how well the light-rail is going in Jerusalem.
The fish link isn't working...where in facebook does it go?
Word verification: machig is that the art of becoming a macher?
I'm chiming in.
I've worked with Masseh Nissim since the Lebanon war. During those times, we visited injured soldiers in the hospitals and gave them gifts. It was very heart warming to speak with them, and you can see a short video that I made on the site.
The founder of Masseh Nissim is the uncle of a close friend of mine from Dallas. He is a very good person, with a heart of gold. He had a life threatening injury in the Yom Kippur war and his life was changed when children came to visit him in the hospitals. Since then, he has made it his mission to help soldiers during wartime and to help the poor during the holidays.
Now he is collecting money to bring supplies to the soldiers in the front lines. He hand delivers the items directly to the soldiers, and every penny donated reaches the soldiers. He keeps nothing for himself, and everyone he works with are volunteers.
Let me know if you have any other questions
According to Babylon, toiletries in Hebrew is דברי קוסמטיקה or divrei cosmeticah (literally, items of cosmetics). In other words, the "Hebrew" definition is... another English word. Big surprise, huh?
:-)
funny, wasn't to long ago that 'the long way around' would have meant NOT driving through the West Bank to get from Jerusalem to Arad . . .
Hillel HaZakan at the IDC is making care packages for soldiers. They need clothes (warm clothes), razors, underwear (ooooh lala), socks, gloves, hats...etc. If you live in Ra'anana, I am MORE than happy to come pick the stuff up before Thursday!!
Also, the friends of the reserves (www.tfotr.com) is trying to fund raise so that people in miluim are properly equipped with vests and what not.
Benj, that's what I'm doing!
Oh, and toiletries is תמרוקים according to reverso... and my aunt.
Awesome, guys-thanks for including all the information!
Thanks, Marc. Sounds like an excellent group. It will be an honor to support their good work.
That's what I get for not writing every. little. thing. my ulpan teacher says down. She taught us toiletries today, but it wasn't anything that others here have written, it was "c'li" something - everything related to cleaning yourself: towel, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, etc.
Oh well. At least I did write down toothpaste and toothbrush.
Benji, fyi, the fish link just brings me to my own facebook page.
Susan That sounds sooo wonderful (and i sound sooo trite). However, i really mean it. i wish sooo much i could do something like that.
Benji i sent the video to many people, including two Medical blogs in the US. One of them, "The Happy Hospitalist" posted it on his blog...yay!!
Loved your story, especially the "donut" tire..snicker.
You're the best!
tracy
Argh....I'm trying to paste the fish thing in but it's not saving.
(That sounds like the weirdest comment ever.)
I must confess, you only have to mention a toilet and I feel the need to comment...Is there a double entendre there? Anyway, speaking of French, I thought (and I could be wrong)that French ladies in the Romantic period (1860-1900) "do their toilette" which means that they get all prettied up for the day (and has nothing to do specifically with a chamber pot or anything else. Then, further on the French topic, you can also think about how romantic it might be to get your girlfriend or significant other "eau d'toilette" which more or less sounds to me like "toilet water" but is actually a name for the watered-down version of "parfum".
Moving away from the toilet and the French, ;-), I just want to say your recent blog posts during the war have been really great and the most important thing is that life goes on in this war zone--not that we are ignoring the war, casualties and general scariness of it, but that what people see on the news is one very small part of what goes on here. Kol haKavod!
Great post Benji-
The Ulpan teacher probably said something like clei harchatzha - showering things.
And my DH Eran always says you went to "Diezen l'chapes et Nabi."
Bamba-f*** - hilarious.
I once took my brand new (like not even a week old) car on the tunnel road to take a friend home to Kfar Adumim. I ran over an open man-hole cover at dusk and had not 1 but 2 flat tires and a broken axel. A policeman on his way home stopped to render aid...he called someone (I'm guessing a tow truck?) and then called his wife and then left us after 3 minutes saying...yiheh beseder! Only in Israel.
Thanks for the Charles Krauthammer article link. We had his article in our local paper but I did not know where to find in on the net. I'm sprendin' the WORD!
jodi
on a trip toiletries are called 2nd or 3rd aid ( Ezra shnia) Ezra rishona is 1st Aid (bandages) Ezra shnia (2nd air) in it's most basic form is toilet paper (more important than Ezra rishona if you ask me), and sometimes includes other toiletries, and if not toiletries are Ezra shlishit. The next Ezra after that is safety pins.
I know this becuase I was once a hiking guide.
Israeli "chor be tarbut" -- my husband (Israeli) still doesn't "get" smores...jeesh!
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