Comments on What War Zone???: An Idiot's Guide to the Tel Aviv Beach

Your first comment would have set the record. Now...

2008-07-13T12:06:54.276+03:00

Your first comment would have set the record. Now when blog historians look back, they will put an asterisk next to it like Roger Maris when he broke Babe Ruth's home run record. (Ech omrim "blog historian"?)

Ok, ok. I'll stop now.

2008-07-13T11:59:50.594+03:00

Ok, ok. I'll stop now.

What do you mean "ehhhhhh, not really?"

2008-07-13T11:58:51.596+03:00

What do you mean "ehhhhhh, not really?"

Does it still count if you pad the comments?

2008-07-13T11:57:28.913+03:00

Does it still count if you pad the comments?

Is this the most comments you've had for one post?...

2008-07-13T11:56:54.828+03:00

Is this the most comments you've had for one post?

Liza, I didn't know roaches don't fly in the US. I...

2008-07-13T09:22:39.366+03:00

Liza,
I didn't know roaches don't fly in the US. I just figured they didn't fly in the house there because we had screens and here we don't.
I need to get screens.

Mia - We may have smaller mosquitoes here, but our...

2008-07-12T15:38:59.915+03:00

Mia - We may have smaller mosquitoes here, but our cockroaches are obnoxiously large, and they fly! Give me the bigger mosquitoes any day! :-)

Did you talk about my stuff (Funk's too (and yours...

2008-07-12T15:23:02.687+03:00

Did you talk about my stuff (Funk's too (and yours?)) being stolen from that beach in the north. Who would steal prescription sunglasses?

yeah, matkot - essentially takes the 'stalbet' out...

2008-07-10T18:17:39.160+03:00

yeah, matkot - essentially takes the 'stalbet' out of my stalbeting.

My grandmother used to send us bottles of Dr.Tishn...

2008-07-10T13:50:14.939+03:00

My grandmother used to send us bottles of Dr.Tishners antiseptic, which worked very well for Meduza burns. Looked like pee in a bottle but smelled like pure alcohol. Burned bad when you put it on, but got the sting out. Before we came here we used it on mosquito bites.
I've never seen it sold anywhere outside of New Orleans though.
One of the nice things about Israel is that the mosquitoes are significantly smaller.
After sun cooling aloe gel works quite well also.

Another piece of advice for tourists is to bring SPF 100 and higher sunscreen from home. I don't think they go that high in Israel and many tourists need it. And remember to spread it all around not just wherever your hand lands on your arm.
I just saw a guy who was all red except for a few patches of white where he had used sunscreen. In the white you could make out the shape of his hand, fingers and all.

that bathing suit picture is excellent.. as is the...

2008-07-10T13:12:03.070+03:00

that bathing suit picture is excellent.. as is the photographer. wonder who it was :o)

I'll say it again, I learn more about Israel here ...

2008-07-10T03:54:48.134+03:00

I'll say it again, I learn more about Israel here than any other site.
I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, but it works for me!

Now I know what to order from the artik man. This is the stuff I don't get from the Travel Channel.

You forgot a few important things:1. All the peopl...

2008-07-09T16:50:10.500+03:00

You forgot a few important things:
1. All the people that are not athletic play SHESH-BESH! which is also a good way to hit on girls (and vice versa).
2. The food that you bring from home is always: AVATIACH - watermelon.
3. The restrooms! (not that clean)
4. You talked about the old people going to the beach, and you haven't mentioned the hot girls that come to the beach...

Can't wait to go to the beach (but it Hertzliah and not TA).

Artick Kartic Shokolad Banana! I love shoko banana artik.

Benji, I don't remember you being this funny at ca...

2008-07-09T16:32:00.656+03:00

Benji, I don't remember you being this funny at camp! I mean you were funny then, but I'm cracking up openly at the office!

The only thing you missed was Tel Aviv beach at night with the random naked Arab men that decide to take their bath and then dry off by sitting in the sand with all their dangly bits hanging out...

The lifeguards are nuts. In addition to yelling at...

2008-07-09T11:35:47.289+03:00

The lifeguards are nuts. In addition to yelling at swimmers to come to the 'marked area', they also berate parents for letting their children roam around. Rightly so, but it's fucking hilarious. "Shel mi ya yeled ha ze???? Ima shel ha yeled, boy tikhi oto, maher aval! Mi ozev yeled kacha?!?" People around me were dying. I also went to gordon beach once and was treated to the language skills of one lifeguard who yelled out his instructions in 4 languages. Hebrew, English, Russian and French. Now that's talent.

If seeing the ass crack of an overweight man lower...

2008-07-09T11:16:23.447+03:00

If seeing the ass crack of an overweight man lowered taxes, we'd all be paying practically nothing, and there'd even be a few lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you look at it) souls to whom the tax authority actually owed money.

My son was stung by a medusa two summers ago. It was pretty nasty, and the scars remained for ages!

haha... medusot... you can always try to tought it...

2008-07-09T08:29:46.020+03:00

haha... medusot... you can always try to tought it out-- just rinse it off... i tried that last week, and while it hurt something awful, my dignity remained intact :-D

And what about sunblock to protect the largest org...

2008-07-09T00:47:01.345+03:00

And what about sunblock to protect the largest organ? The skin?

Because seriously, I got sunburned at a coffee shop today, even though I applied SPF 50. So I can't imagine what the beach would do to me and other pink Jews.

Bra-friggin-oh!Snagged another subscriber in me.

2008-07-08T22:14:43.158+03:00

Bra-friggin-oh!

Snagged another subscriber in me.

At the Herzliya beach the lifeguards give you a co...

2008-07-08T21:17:36.129+03:00

At the Herzliya beach the lifeguards give you a cotton ball dipped in vinegar (at least they SAY its vinegar) to help with the sting.

Thought of buying my husband one of those speedos so he could feel at home.....

I had a blast at the beach in Nahariyah--It is, ho...

2008-07-08T20:13:26.985+03:00

I had a blast at the beach in Nahariyah--It is, however, filled with more Russians and Arab families who bring their grills and entire households of mattresses to lie on....But such fun!--It is VERY clean, and I rented a chair for 8 shekels and got five back when I returned the chair.....Also--I love the showers and foot showers so you leave with no sand at all on you (thanks also to crocs!). But the best is sitting and doing nothing until you get so hot you go and jump into the Mediterranean--Look- after a hard week of work, meetings, or "touring"--DOING NOTHING IS THE BEST SOMETHING YOU CAN DO!!!--Love, Mamma Sue

Since i wrote a huge rant on your last post's comm...

2008-07-08T19:48:01.020+03:00

Since i wrote a huge rant on your last post's comment board... Two words:

boobies butts.

i love tel aviv beach.

RE Urine on jellyfish stings, it was on Friends wh...

2008-07-08T17:48:54.326+03:00

RE Urine on jellyfish stings, it was on Friends where Joey and Chandler did their thing on Monica and vowed to never ever speak of it again. Since I rock, here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XARb8Cmkac

Embarrassingly I can testify to the medicinal effe...

2008-07-08T17:30:15.806+03:00

Embarrassingly I can testify to the medicinal effectiveness of urine on jellyfish stings. In my Southern US hometown we were taught the same thing...and it works like a charm. I'll even add a bit more Southern wisdom to the mix...if you get bitten by fire ants you should chew up a "silver dollar weed" and spit it on the wound. Takes the sting right out. A nice ima polani from my shul taught me that on our shul's first shabbaton (I'm serious).

Ah, the beach in Tel Aviv. That's the main thing ...

2008-07-08T14:31:15.253+03:00

Ah, the beach in Tel Aviv. That's the main thing that's missing in Jerusalem...

-The image of a fat, hairy, Russian man in speedos has been burned into my retinas and I still have nightmares about it. Yech!
-I did not realize that the sun umbrella does not protect you from the sun at all. I have a sunburn to prove it.
-Last time I was at the beach, I heard the lifeguard yelling at two women (in Hebrew) "Ladies, why are you not listening to me?"
-That can't be the Artik guy. He's waaaay too young.
-I saw a massage therapist roaming the beach last time I was there. I'm sure it was legit, but I still have a problem with the idea of me in a bikini paying someone to rub me in public. Is that just me?